Help for Someone Else
When you are concerned for someone elseSimple ways to offer help for someone else experiencing intimate partner abuse
With 1 in 3 women experiencing abuse in their lifetime, you are likely to know someone experiencing abuse – and she needs your help.
Yet relying on your common sense to help may unintentionally harm the person you are concerned about. But helping in a healthy way can be easy if you understand a few of the basics.
IPA is not about anger. It is about one partner’s desire to have the power in the relationship to control their intimate partner. Abuse may be physical, sexual emotional, financial, spiritual, or psychological actions or simply the threats of actions that influence another person. … or wound someone.
It’s natural to feel nervous, after all, you don’t want to alienate the person. Below are some suggestions on how you can effectively care for them.
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- Respect confidentiality. It is a privilege to be trusted with her disclosure of abuse.
- Believe her! Fear of not being believed results in unreported abuse.
- Acknowledge the injustice. There is never an excuse for abusive behavior.
- Respect her right to make her own decisions.
- Encourage her to contact Hagar’s Sisters for validation from others who have experienced abuse, understanding God’s disdain for abuse, and safety planning. For crisis intervention and access to local resources, google domestic violence support near me.
- Maintain healthy boundaries
What is not helpful?
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- Minimizing any form of abusive actions.
- Judging or shaming.
- Misinterpreting scriptures on divorce, forgiveness, and other related topics to make her feel obligated to remain in the relationship.
- Giving advice about what she should do.
- Making decisions or taking actions on behalf of the survivor.
- Confronting her partner or attempting to “solve her problem” without expertise.
- Recommending marriage counseling.
- Questioning or try to influence her decision to stay or leave.
* For Scriptural insights, read our blog: What Does the Bible Say About Abuse
Resources to help you offer help to someone else
If you are afraid, anticipate or experience physical abuse, call 911
National Hotlines
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National Domestic Violence Hotline
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1 (800) 787 – 32241 (TTY number for hearing impaired individuals) |
| National Crisis Textline | Text HOME to 741741 |
| National Suicide Prevention Lifeline | 1-800-273-8255 |
| National Sexual Assault Hotline | 1-800-565-HOPE (4673) |
| National Child Abuse Hotline | 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) |
Prayer Lines
| Daystar | 1 (800) 329 – 0029 (24 hr) |
| Kenneth Copeland Prayer Line | 1 (817) 852 – 6000 (24 hr) |
| Andrew Womack Prayer Line | 1 (719) 635 – 1111 |
Coming Soon: The Pathmaker Program
Domestic abuse is surprisingly complex and dangerous. Though you want to offer help for someone else who has experienced abuse, your actions may put them and their children at greater risk of harm.
This free, 5-module online program equips individuals (or groups) who care about someone involved with a controlling partner. You’ll receive a basic understanding of domestic abuse, a glimpse inside the mind of an abusive partner, how to establish healthy boundaries, how and when to refer someone to Hagar’s Sisters, and what the person you refer can expect. At your own pace you will learn easy steps by watching short videos and reviewing accompanying content, then prepare yourself to help by downloading practical tools.
The Pathmaker Program will be launched on our website in the Fall of 2024. Click here to be one of the first to know of the Program launch so you can get started.